In 2015, I went to my first sex club. James and I had been together less than a year, and he’d frequented this particular place with his previous partner. I admit, I was incredibly nervous. I had always been self-conscious about my body, hence earlier struggles with an eating disorder. I knew that walking into that place confidently required an understanding of what I was getting myself into. Fortunately, my first sex club was the Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto. Not only is this the cleanest sex club I’ve ever experienced, but the rules and regulations are clear and adhered to. This gave me comfort. As a tribute to Oasis, a throwback to my first time, and a celebration to yours (whether it’s happened yet or not), here are 8 things you should know before going to a sex club!
Like any business, price varies depending on the city its in, what’s included in the price, the amenities, and the type of night you’re paying for. For example, most clubs have separate entry fees for couples and single people. Single women tend to enter free, while single men pay a hefty price. Also, single men are only permitted to enter on designated nights. In some clubs, the door fee may include one or more free beverages, condoms and lubes, use of equipment, access to pool, hot tub, showers, sauna and steam rooms, snacks, and/or dinner. I’ve even seen a candy buffet! Note: generally speaking, sex clubs in the United States are BYOB.
Additionally, some clubs require memberships. What this means is on top of the entry fee, you pay the club a monthly or annual fee to remain on their list. This can range from $50 to $1500. For example, the VIP membership of the Trapeze, Atlanta GA, is an annual fee of approximately $1200 per year, plus a $200 door fee.
2. Dress Code
What you wear will depend on the club and the theme of the evening. Some clubs require you to take off your clothes, while others give you the freedom of expression. For example, in Moon City, Paris, nudity is required; however, they provide clean towels to all guests. Les Chandelles, on the other hand, almost didn’t let a sharply dressed Italian man in because he was wearing the wrong style of shoe.
Bottom line, your relationship with your own body and nudity will determine what clubs are right for you. Just be sure you read the dress code as they aren’t very flexible on this.
Okay, this is where I’ll spill more of my love for the Oasis Aqualounge (OAL). Of course, in any club, “no means no.” Should any one disrespect you or your right to decline, you can report them and have them kicked out. The difference between OAL and other clubs I’ve been to is you have to ask…like…verbally. With your voice. That means you literally need to open your mouth and have a conversation if you want to touch or watch another person. If this conversation doesn’t happen, you can be kicked out, even blacklisted! Other clubs don’t have this verbal policy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people rubbing up on me, in hopes that I would just go with the flow. I will say, I have never had to say “no” more than once for people to back off, but to be asked is a lot nicer than suddenly feeling a hand graze your leg or back.
4. Cleanliness, Hygiene, Protection
I will not go near a sex club that doesn’t take sanitation, hygiene, or protection of their clientele seriously. Having gone to a club like the Oasis Aqualounge, where there are condoms, lube, paper towels, and spray in almost every corner of the house, along with at least one employee cleaning the place constantly, I have super high standards when it comes to laying my naked ass on anything. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve been to clubs where it was so dirty and unkempt (used condoms left on the mattresses, liquid from God knows what all over the place), I demanded my money back. This is a difficult one, because every club will claim they are clean. My best advice is to read the reviews OR visit the club and ask if you can do a walk-through before committing to paying the price for the evening. If the club is good, they will have new member tours.
5. Events and Themes
As a couple looking to play with each other and another woman, J and I are very particular about which events we go to. As mentioned, most clubs have designated nights for couples. On couples’ nights, generally, single women are allowed to enter. That’s what we want. J and I avoid events that permit entry of solo males. Why? We aren’t too keen on having groups (and yes, I mean groups) of men masturbating while watching us do our thing.
In addition to paying attention to designated couples’ versus singles’ nights, make sure that the theme of the evening reflects your sexual interests. For example, if you aren’t part of the LGBTQ community, maybe don’t go on a night that is dedicated to them…
6. Play Time
Every club is different. Different layout, different styles, different demographic, different…everything.
Most clubs have areas where the magic happens. These areas tend to be called cuddle corners, or les sallons. They can be anything from a couch and large leather beds to dungeons. Most areas are communal; however, some clubs will have private rooms for people who want to get freaky alone. This of course is something you’ll need to research should that be your cup of tea.
To give an example, the only prohibited area for sexual activity in the Oasis Aqualounge is the jacuzzi. Moon City was the same. Other clubs prohibit sexual activities anywhere outside of specified rooms. Sometimes these spaces can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re not into group sex or swinging. If you’re hesitant, again, my recommendation is to take a tour before you commit.
There is no saying who you’ll find at a sex club. I’ve seen people as young as 19, and as old as 75. I’ve never been to an event that has an age cap. Of course, the age limit is dependent on the law in your state/province/country. The demographics depend on the appeal of the club itself, and the area it’s in. Of course, if they advertise more to students (because, say, it’s near a university), you’ll have a younger crowd. Usually more upscale clubs, with higher entry-fees, will have a mature demographic.
8. The (non-mandatory) Sex
Despite its name, there is no pressure to have sex in the sex club. But, yes, be ready to see it happening around you. A lot!
It’s important to know the difference between on-site and off-site swingers’ clubs. On-site swingers’ clubs mean you can engage in sexual activity in the club itself. Off-site clubs mean sexual activity is prohibited on-site, and the club is more a social ground to meet others with similar sexual interests.
Another critical note is the type of sex that happens within the walls of these places. For example, while we were living in the US, we came across an extreme BDSM club. You know by now that I am a submissive, and James is my Dom. Even so, the appeal of this club was too intense for our liking. Most clubs are general swingers’ clubs. What this means is they may or may not include a dungeon within their walls; however, are not specific to BDSM. In other words, the equipment is there as optional use for those who may lean in that direction.
Understand that people may approach you if they’re interested. That’s where you need to be comfortable in exercising your “no.” They have the right to ask, as much as you have the right to decline.
So yes, people have sex in sex clubs. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Fuck well, friends!
Quean Mo xx
So, tell me, what are your thoughts on sex clubs? Do you have experience? If not, is there anything else you’d like to know?