“UK Male submissive, with a foot fetish and a burning desire to worship and serve females.”
And to add to his beautiful foot-fetishy, female-serving, submissive ways, he also let me in on a little secret…
He has a small penis.
Not only do I think he is a funny, unashamed and admirable human, but also, someone who can shine a brighter light on the fact that SIZE DOESN’T ACTUALLY MATTER and (stealing words from Emily Nagoski here), we have all the same parts, just organized differently. Abbreviation: BODY DIVERSITY. And what better way to start Men’s Health Month than by challenging yet another deeply engrained and harmful societal message?
So, without further ado, I want to welcome Brian.
It’s been such a pleasure conversing with you so far. To start off, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself so readers can get a general sense of who you are.
Hi, I’m Brian, a straight 28 year old male from the north east of England. I work as a graphic designer; single at the moment, but in service to an amazing girl who allows me to clean her house, wash her car, give her pedicures…anything she wants really, and in return I receive humiliation,and am allowed to worship her shoes and feet.
My main fetish is for female feet and shoes, especially when smelly. I can become in a trance-like state from a strong smelling female foot. It’s crazy. Better than any drug. Then there is my second love; what started as my nightmare, then turned into a fetish: SPH (small penis humiliation). When I’m not licking shoes clean, I’m a huge graphic art fan, who loves cars and motorcycles.
Around what age did you realize that your penis was on the smaller side?
I would say I realized about age 12-13, just by seeing other guys penises in locker rooms, on the TV and the internet.
To give some perspective, do you mind telling us approximately how large your penis is when erect?
3 inch or 8 cm.
So, the size of your penis used to be a source of insecurity. Did having a small penis impact your childhood and/or teenage years?
It was never an issue during childhood, but as I grew into my teenage years I always kept it covered when in locker rooms to prevent being mocked. I lost my virginity at 18 to my first real girlfriend. She never really mentioned it. She knew I was ashamed of it, so alway used to play it down. Luckily I’vealways managed to get by on my personality and looks [laughter].
Most of my girls are too polite to mention it. One night stands on the other hand…some have laughed; or the other reaction is “awww, it’s so cute.” The rest, I think, is a bit of a curiosity thing. I realized I liked being humiliated when I was seeing a dominant goth girl. She knew I liked feet, and she enjoyed mocking me. That was kind of the start of my love for SPH.
At what age did you begin to accept yourself, and what did you do to overcome insecurities?
Around 24 [years of age] when I really got into fetish.Becoming a true submissive was what really made me overcome my embarrassment and embrace my small man hood.
When you start a new relationship or have sexual experiences with new partners, do you feel the need to discuss the size of your penis before hand?
Yes, just for clarity, and so neither party is made to feel uncomfortable. The other reason I mention it is because I cant perform deep penetrative sex.
How has having a small penis affected your sexuality overall?
I would say it’s made me more submissive, and enjoy the fetish world even more.
In our culture, it’s quite common for men to be concerned with the size of their member. Even if sex has remained a taboo subject, we are still bombarded with subliminal (and sometimes very blatant) messages indicating “size matters.” A perfect example would be penis enlargement advertisements (they are everywhere!). These messages don’t take into consideration body diversity whatsoever. So, my question for you is: what advice would you give to men, or people who identify as male, who struggle with penile-related insecurities? And what message would you like to give to the population who subscribeto the “size matters” philosophy?
Size is not an issue when a female or male really likes you for who you are; size is irrelevant. You might have to put that bit of extra effort in or involve toys to enhance your partners experience, but you shouldn’t worry or have regrets because life is as short as my penis, pun intended.
I want to get very personal for a moment (as if I haven’t already), regarding performance. This is a two part question…
During our private conversations, you had mentioned that having a smaller penis has allowed you to sharpen other sexual skills. Do you mind elaborating on what you mean by that? And in relation, does that mean penetration is not a primary sexual act for you?
Due to my lack-of-size, certain positions just aren’t an option for me. I just constantly slip out. To overcome this I will sometimes wear a penis sleeve, if the partner wants deep penetration. Another thing I do to enhance sex for my partner is oral. I ironically have a long tongue and work hard on giving good oral. Massage, sensuality and touch are also key. I think because I put so much effort into the enjoyment of my partner, the size of my penis almost becomes irrelevant.
You are a submissive and foot fetishist. Tell us a bit about how you fell into these two kinks, and what they mean for you?
I have alway liked feet for as long as I can remember. Even at the age of 10, I can remember sneaking off to smell my aunt’s shoes. As a result of the foot fetish the submissive side of me grew as I matured. It all really fell into place with an old girlfriend – the goth girl I mentioned earlier on. I remember one time she had been wearing an old pair of black ballet flats all day, on a red, hot summer day. We came back to my place and she made me take off all my clothes while she remained fully clothed. I was forced to lick her worn out shoes clean.She then made me smell the shoe, and then her foot. The scent was so strong, and had me on the edge right away. With one foot in my face, she slipped off the other shoe, held her big toe near the head of my penis and said, “my big toe is bigger than your cock.” With that, her toe accidentally – and lightly – brushed the head of my penis, and I came everywhere as she laughed. I have never come so much or hard. My other fetishes that have grown from that day: I like being trampled, being kicked in the balls, spat on. I’m a real freak. The list goes on and will probably never stop.
Let’s destroy this stigma…Tell me, what are the benefits of having a smaller penis?
You never hurt your partner’s vagina; blowjobs are easier (no choking), and its empowering to the female having the guy at an instant disadvantage. At the end of the day, everyone is different and there is a match for everyone if you are willing to open up and look.
I believe overall wellness cannot be reached without a healthy self image, and by sharing realities such as this – you know, that bodies can vary dramatically from one another, but that no body is better or worse than any other – we will slowly move away from the narrow ideals that society has defined for our physiques.
Brian, your journey to self-acceptance is truly inspiring. The male perspective on body diversity issues and insecurity rarely gets time in the spotlight, so because of that, I want to thank you for participating in Men’s Health Month. I hope to do this again soon.
Until next time,