Throw back to a pre-Covid travel article, where James and I bounced from city to city, in search of the greatest adult venues. At this time we were surfing couches, as our budget was tight, and we had plans for that money. Although it was a wonderful experience — we have been blessed with generous friends — it had a slight impact on our sex life.
As a traveling couple, we understand that opportunities to engage in our D/s dynamic are oftentimes minimized, especially, for instance, when we stay at grandparents’ homes or friends’ houses that inhabit children. We are vigilant about respecting other people’s space, and never risking the opportunity of being caught or heard by passersby.
How then, people have asked me, do we have fulfilling, kinky sex, if we’re sleeping in communal spaces or in guests rooms of other people’s homes?
Remember, you don’t require a whole dungeon to experience the excitement of a little BDSM. In fact, we’ve mastered how to keep it discreetly kinky on the road. Here are our six travel basics, and what they offer!
The Equipment
1. A Collar and Leash
Want a quick passage into Dom or sub-space?
Pick and purchase your very own collar and leash set. The style of the collar may represent your mood or character. For example, my red and black collar represent my “Brat” sub, whereas my white and silver set represent my “good girl” sub. The set I choose establishes James’ approach, as we have set guidelines for each collar and leash.
If you have little space to prance around and you need to keep sounds and roleplay to a minimum, the collar is a powerful D/s symbol. Not only can it initiate a specific dynamic, just donning it can shift the power in a room, even if you’re unable to engage in a true BDSM scene.
Additionally, a collar and leash work wonderfully when travelling, as they are small and flexible enough to fit in any bag, without taking up too much space.
2. Handcuffs
The second most crucial item in my BDSM toolbox (literally), are my Aslan Leather handcuffs. If you enjoy restraints, or the feeling of losing control, I highly suggest this bondage staple.
If you’re a BDSM novice, handcuffs are a great starter item, as they can be inexpensive, used on all partners, and don’t necessarily require a power dynamic.
Handcuffs are a subtle, less complex form of bondage that can be used or removed in a matter of seconds. With some connectors and a bit of creativity, handcuffs can turn the most fundamental positions into the most pleasurable.
Similar to the collar and leash, they come in varying colours that can set moods and dynamics. They are also easily transferrable.
3. Rope
What limits handcuffs have, rope makes up for. The possibilities are endless!
Rope play is a type of art. It’s an area within BDSM that people grow passionate about. From simple knots to full body bondage, rope will keep you curious and wanting.
Rope is a suspicious, yet strategic tool. Much like the collar and leash, it is light and requires little space. It can be rolled tightly and placed in something as small as a purse — depending on the length and thickness.
If you are a novice in the art of rope-play, ensure you are skilled in some basic knots, and only use them on body parts that are risk free (i.e., not around the throat). If you are staying at other people’s homes, like James and myself, ensure quick and easy removal of the rope.
If you’re in need of a great rope retailer and guide, Twisted Monk is the place to go. They have a library of how-to videos and information, and a perfect rope just for Y.O.U.
The Wardrobe
When James and I travel, we carry two staple outfits with us, in case we have an impromptu date night out or a house to ourselves. The first is a classy ensemble; the other is risqué business. To give a vivid image, this is what I pack from head to foot:
4. Masquerade
I have a slight mask fetish, and find it hard resisting any occasion to wear one. Depending on the theme of the evening, and whether masks are a part of the night, I will choose a classic Colombina mask that matches the colour of my outfit, or a faux leather cat mask, that resembles Anne Hathaway’s cat woman (because the iconic Michelle Pfeiffer is saved for special occasions).
5. Scantily Clad
When this article first published, James had just bought me one of my favourite kink pieces: a faux leather breast harness. Its edgy aesthetic is a wonderful add-on to most outfits. Even in classier attire, wearing the breast harness beneath — against my skin — is an aide-memoire of my primal intentions.
Not only is this harness totally flexible, but it’s super light, comfortable, and can be worn under clothing in the place of a bra. Like the collar and leash, it is visual provoking. Harnesses don’t usually require other equipment to offer a kinky Dom or sub vibe. If the goal is to keep the D/s ambience with as few items as possible, the right harness will surpass all expectations.
It can also be worn discreetly under clothes if you and your partner want to share a little secret between you…
6. Shoes
Luxury is a state of mind. When I plan for an evening with James, be it a sex club or stay-in date night, I aim for luxury.
Elegance is subjective, and I tend to fall somewhere between class and trash, depending on my mood. Because of this, my go-to ensemble is a short dress, oftentimes with a plunging neckline, that always reveals my legs. If you’re a shoe addict (like me), travelling can be disheartening as shoes are heavy and spacious. When possible, I focus on packing three pairs:
- Strappy high-heeled sandals — usually black.
- High-heeled, chunky boots — usually black.
- Thigh-high suede stilettos — usually black.
Of course, if you can find multi-use outfits, or articles of clothing that can be mixed and matched, that is the greatest space saver. My feet are my priority, so if I can cut back on clothing, I will.
Build Your Own Adventure
In addition to these items, the best thing you can bring with you are 1) your intention to communicate, 2) a good energy, and 3) good humour. You see, travel won’t necessarily offer ideal circumstances — especially if you are couch surfing like us — so indulging in your preferred sexuality may take a back seat. But, it never hurts to prepare!
As mentioned, these travels had an impact on our sex life. Although our practices aren’t always possible, the effort, energy, and attention we bring to each experience — sexual or not — keeps our connection alive!
If at the end of the day all you can do is lie in bed with one another, discuss your fantasies, and anticipate the next time you can get frisky — so be it! Sex is exciting, but the stuff in between counts too! So, regardless of your next adventure, remember how to keep it kinky on the road with these six travel basics, and enjoy the pleasure of the company you keep…
Until next time,
Fuck well, friends!
Quean Mo xx
So, tell me, what was one of the hottest experiences you had while travelling? Comment below or contact me here!
This is a great post, I enjoyed learning about your BDSM travel kit! I often take toys and lingerie with me when I travel, just the basics though. I really like the breast harness, it looks super sexy on you. I might have to have a little shopping trip and find one for me! 🖤
Thanks Petra Pan! And I definitely think you should get a harness. I have very large beasts and was shocked when it fit me – especially considering it was a “one size fits all.” But it’s so comfortable and such a sexy garment. My Master bought it from Amazon – unfortunately I don’t know from what retailer – but there are so many out there, I don’t think you’ll have trouble. Can’t wait to see if you do ?❤️
Thanks, I’ll have a look – I quite like Bijoux Indescrets, they have some lovely harnesses 🖤