RAF – Minx: A Memoir, Pt. III/III

 
Picture
 
Before we dive into the final segment of this interview, I want to virtually applaud Minx for her strength, courage and vulnerability. Her truth has shed light on topics that most people are too afraid or ashamed to speak openly about. The female experience of abuse and heart ache is not something to be repressed or ignored, and it is because of people like Minx that others find their brave to share their stories as well.

If you’d like to share your story please contact me. We’re all in this together!

CONTENT NOTE: This series covers topics of domestic/sexual abuse, abortion, and relationships with minors.


What did your mom’s boyfriend (now husband) think of the fact that you were with such an older man?

He didn’t necessarily know. I mean he knew the first time and told me he’d have him killed if I wanted it! When I was with Pineapple, I knew it was wrong. My heart just didn’t care at that point.

I remember him saying he’d kill him or something.I also remember believing him. So, how is the relationship between you and your mom, and you and her husband now?

[Laughter] It’s so dysfunctional it’s disgusting. I hate being around them. They are extremely negative humans. I love my mom, but I can’t stand her.

The relationship is almost nonexistent. I’m actually making a decision to withdraw after the wedding. I feel like it is too much mental stress to have them in my life. My lover and I are planning on trying to have a baby, and I can’t bring a child into a world with them in it. My family comes first.

Do you see them often?

No they live an hour away, and I just have no desire. I think I see them maybe 5 times out of the year.

Makes sense. Families can be difficult, then add some rough history on top of that, and I understand why people see each other only a few times a year.

Ya, once we have a baby, all contact will be gone.

Well, thats understandable. When it’s just you dealing with them, it’s one thing,but I understand there’s a different level of protection once you have children. You have to do what is best for you and the child, right? Unfortunately not everyone thinks that way though.

Well, good thing I have no problem being the bad guy, especially when it comes to the protection of my family – meaning my fiancé and our children.

Oh 100%! I wouldn’t call you a “bad guy” for that. That’s being a good fucken mom and partner. How does your man feel about the relationship?

Oh, at first he gave me shit; telling me to be nicer to my mom. Now he asks why I even speak to her. I still think you should write a book on my life [Laughter].

Aw, poor guy. He was trying to help, then realized! And I definitely need to go into my files and look for the beginning of that book. I actually wrote quite a bit.

There’s so much to take in and to talk about. I could stay on this part of your life for hours and discuss it. But, I want to be sure we talk more about your present situation too.

Since Pineapple and Jace, you’ve had a few relationships. Was moving on hard for you? And how were your relationships after Pineapple?

Yes and no. It was time, and I had moved in with my aunt. My relationships were extremely unhealthy, and harder because no one was him.

My fiancé is the only one to ever measure up. I harp on him a lot and make fun of him; however, the overwhelming love and gratitude I feel for him… I couldn’t live without him. It would just be impossible for me. I always ask if I can die first because I couldn’t live a day without him.

[Laughter] Oh, Master J and I already made a pact. I die first, that’s the rule. He thinks I’m selfish for it, I don’t care.

So, before your fiancé, generally speaking, the relationships were unhealthy?

Oh ya! Constant arguments, angry all the time. One guy stalked me for years. Even after I was with my fiancé.

Once, while I was dating this guy (the stalker), when we were having sex he was hurting me, so I told him. All he said was, “I’m almost finished.”I pushed him off of me, and he snapped, saying, “I wasn’t raping you!”

I remember you telling me that after it happened. I also remember threatening him. The fact that he even said, “I wasn’t raping you,” shows that he knew there was a fucken problem.

What heavy conversation. Honest. Raw. But that’s why I love you, because you’re all of these things, and aren’t afraid of it.

But, unfortunately, it’s time I wrap this up…

Before we go, I want to get your perspective on a few things. We’ll do this rapid fire:

1) What advice would you give young women who have experienced or are in the process of making decisions such as:

– having a relationship with a much older man?

I feel that it’s important for women to be with older men. Not necessarily one that’s twice your age [laughter], but at least 3-5 years older. I feel like an older man has an easier time understanding us women, and have a lot more patience with the hormones and changes that occur within us.

– facing the possibility of having an abortion?

As far as an abortion, that’s a decision they have to be 100% sure about. Either way it’s a life sentence. For me it will never happen again.

2) Do you have any advice for young women who have difficult relationships with their mothers – how to cope after damaging encounters (such as the ones you faced)?

There is no easy way to deal with relationships that are difficult with family, let alone your mother. I personally will come to a point where enough is enough, and it will end. I hope that’s not the case for anyone else. I would recommend airing everything out. Getting whatever you’re holding onto out, no matter how dark and twisty it might be.

3) Why do you think your story (your past) is important for other people to hear?

Because people always think they are alone in situations… I’ve literally heard seen and felt it all. I’ve experienced some crazy stuff and I always felt like I was alone; that no one could feel how I felt. That’s not true! People experience things… more horrible than you can imagine, but that’s when they need to decide if they are going to let it make or break them. There is good in every shitty situation.

4) Do you have anything else that you wish to share that you think is important for others to hear; or something that shaped you into the person you are today?

I grew up in an abusive home: physically, mentally, and sexually. And it’s easy to say “this is going to be the last time,” but harder to follow through with it. But I assure you that there is someone or multiple someones out there that want you to succeed and want you to be happy. There are a million amazing and good people out there compared to the shitty ones. THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE!

Thank you Minx for sharing your past with all of us. We spoke about childhood, first sexual experiences, abortion, and abuse; familial relationships and their complications.

Minx is open to talk to anyone who has gone through (or is currently going through) similar situations. Remember, you’re never alone, and there are good people! Minx is an example that we are not what life hands to us – we are not defined by the bad, or the good. We define ourselves.

Should you wish to speak with Minx, she can be found on instagram @minxx25

Until next time,

Fuck-well, friends!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s