Goodbye Oasis

Two days ago I crossed the border into the US, and therefore into a new chapter of my life. Master J sat beside me, nervous that anything could go wrong, and he would be denied access. He had his Visa in hand. I was confident that we took the proper steps, had all the right documents, and, as predicted, it went as smooth as silk.

So, it has already begun. I’m writing this from Buffalo, in a small café, going over the last few days in my head. It’s already going so fast, and I’m hoping it isn’t a glimpse of how the rest of the trip will be paced. My goal is to remain as present as possible, and enjoy each experience as they come. No looking too far ahead, no looking too far behind. But, for the sake of this article, I’ll break that rule for a moment or two, because the night before Master J and I left Canada (Toronto, to be more specific), we spent some of those remaining hours in our favourite club: The Oasis Aqualounge.

Master J and I were put on the guest list last Friday, which happened to be Fetish Friday – an event that happens the third Friday of every month. It’s an evening we’ve been dying to go to for nearly four years, but somehow it always eluded us. Either we were unavailable due to pre-arranged social gatherings, living in another country, too tired or too forgetful. This opportunity was gifted to us by the club after we interviewed them the previous Monday. It was important that this club be the first feature on Sex With Friends, as its values align with mine, as well, the relationship I have with Master J blossomed tremendously because of our time spent within the walls of Oasis.

Note: keep an eye out on my social media channels (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook) for the interview’s release.

As you can see from the image, collar was on and I was ready to go. We ate a quick (and light) dinner, and headed to the club.

Our first stop – after disrobing in the changeroom – was the heated pool. We weren’t alone. The club had slowly begun to fill. There were a diverse range of couples and single women. Some were dressed as puppies, cats, different types of rodents, as the theme was “Critters-Ode To Pet Play.” Others came in leather, wielding whips and floggers…It was a magical thing to witness.

Every time I visit the Oasis Aqualounge, I feel I’m experiencing something important. Groups of people come in from all walks of life, and strip themselves bare, becoming who they feel they are underneath it all. It’s a space that you can dig into the deepest parts of your sexuality, and are encouraged to bring those pieces to surface.

It was one heck of way to say goodbye to the city I hold so dear to my heart. The truth is, Master J and I didn’t participate sexually that evening. Even with great intentions, my emotions got the best of me. Knowing I was leaving for another full year was bitter sweet, yet at this particular moment, the bitterness prevailed. After a couple hours in the club, I decided it was time for us to leave. I had said goodbye to so many people in the last couple of weeks, I was at the brim of my emotional threshold, and I could feel that this scene was about to push me into a flood. I know Master J was disappointed, as we imagined we’d celebrate this new beginning in our favourite way (dungeon, perhaps?)…but my mind was on the farewells.

Master J was worried I’d have regrets, but the truth is…we have a whole year ahead of us to explore our sexuality. That’s the point, is it not? What I needed at that moment was to just be in that space, breathe and appreciate what was happening there; knowing that no matter how far I go, a place like that continues to exist.


We have so much to look forward to. Only a few days into this trip and I feel we’re moving toward something special. Sexuality is such a diverse subject, and I hope to be able to speak to many of you about it in person. Sex isn’t always wild, it isn’t always about orgasm or being physical. Sometimes, it can also be about experiencing an atmosphere, and being grateful for it. Thank you Oasis Aqualounge for all of the beautiful moments you granted us. See you again sometime in the future.


Until next time,

Fuck well, friends!

Don’t forget to join my Meet Up Group Sex In America to find out when Master J and I will be in YOUR city. Also, if you are intrigued by our project and wish to support conversations that matter, head on over to our Go Fund Me: Sex In America page. Every penny counts!