Going to the city that never sleeps is always an exciting venture. I imagined cocktails on rooftops, sex parties in slow motion, and finding bliss in Bowery. I’d be lying if I said none of those things happened (more on that later). For now here are some of the highs and lows the concrete jungle offered up – an update after my long hiatus…
Master J, being the advocate that he is for my sexuality, found an all-female social event on Fet Life. He encouraged me to go, as it was specific to non-monogamous relationships, and took place in Bowery Bliss, a NYC sex club. The club itself was three floors. The first consisting of a dance floor, lounge area and bar; the second, private rooms, and a dungeon; the third, the orgy den – beds, upon beds, upon beds.
After the tour, the social continued in the bar. The crowd was small and diverse – youth to mature, slim to voluptuous, light skinned to dark. I was expecting name tags, ice breakers and the reveal of intimate relationship details. The conversation, however, remained fairly surface, with a political tilt. I ate cheese and drank wine, made a few contacts, and then left to have an evening with my husband.
I imagine the club itself is an exciting place to be during sexy hours; but I was disappointed by the content of the evening. Don’t get me wrong, although speaking politics in a sex club does sound like a form of rebellion, I was ready to connect and share pieces of ourselves that, in another setting, may be looked down upon. For me, enjoying that space with like-minded people, who dabble in similar lifestyles, would have been real defiance.
Maybe next time…
Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I attended my first Pride Parade this summer – World Pride to be exact, which was being held in NYC (lucky for me!). It was a colourful, wonderful, magical time, and I’ll never forget it! Thank you NYC for taking my Pride virginity!
The 4th on the Pier
Master J, the Essential Witch and I had a friend come visit from Montreal for July 4th. We spent the entire day and evening outside, drinking beer in Central Park, listening to music and playing games. And even if the hour-and-a-half long walk to find a spot along the Promenade was tiresome and HOT, the fireworks and the company made it well worth it.
Buy-bye Call of the Quean
Blame the blistering city heat, the lack of AC, failed MeetUps, or the high prices in ALL the places…I had multiple melt downs over the first month of NYC living.
I had finished contracts with all of my clients, and have been unable to renew due to the demands of the visa process that will determine my husband’s eligibility to live in this country. It’s been stressful, to say the least! Hence the lack of content on this blog.
The truth is, the stress really had me questioning my worth as a coach, a sexuality educator, and writer. I have a following, I’ve had clients I care about deeply, but no place to live, no steady income, and a husband pending naturalization (this shit can take up to 10 years, people!). I got caught in the mental storm, went down the emotional rabbit hole, snowballed into my own overwhelm. And then, I quit. I quit everything. I told my clients I, regretfully, was unable to renew. I stopped writing. I aimed to end it all – Quean Mo would exist no more.
My finger was hovering over the DELETE ALL button, when I took a breath, and decided to give it another few days. During that time, I came across the book You’re a Badass by Jen Sincero. It had been leaning out from my sister’s bookshelf, calling to me for some time.
It only took one chapter for my heart to start pounding in my chest, and to understand that the Universe has my back (a knowing I’d always held close to me, yet let fade somewhere in the not-so-distant past). If I could manifest a human being – my husband – into my life, why couldn’t I do it with everything else I desired?
I set aside time to get real with myself, and from this came some wonderful things. My attitude changed, and weeks passed without tears. I was more present when spending time with my husband and sister. My libido came back! I let loose, and began attracting things into my life that I’d been rejecting all along: support, inspiration, and karaoke. I came to terms with my love for music, and made a plan to incorporate it into my life through song writing. I watched three of the most important movies in my life to-date: Rocketman, Bohemian Rhapsody, Yesterday and Giant Little Ones. And after all of this, distancing myself from the DELETE ALL button, I received my first subscribers on Patreon.
It was a transitional period for me. I’ve had many before, and I’m sure there are many more to come. This one was to reinstate the faith I had in the Universe, in my abilities, and my calling. So, I’m happy to say that, although the coaching is still on hold, Quean Mo is here to stay, only now with a more eclectic repertoire of talents and interests.
What I look forward to most when traveling are the people I’m going to meet. I know the Universe is working its magic, preparing the crossing of paths between me and future friends and partners. NYC was no exception to this.
Not only did Master J and I meet two of the coolest people – artists, liberated, open minded, humans – but we…drum roll please…
Fulfilled my D/s cuckquean fantasy.
I’m such a tease, I know, but keep the faith, and I’ll be back soon!
Fuck well, friends!