Interview with My Husband’s Ex: Lucia

A man and a woman dance in the sand, under the pink, sun-set sky. He holds her half-dipped body, staring intently into her eyes.
Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on

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My husband and I had an idea, and that was to interview exes and share the range of their experience with the same person (a mutual partner). The original vision was to video record the perspective of each ex’s experience with the mutual partner, and share those recordings with the mutual partner, while seeing their reaction. A trash-TV’s wet dream! Fortunately, unfortunately – depending on how you want to look at it – currently, I have neither the technology nor the contacts to embark on such a mission (thank you, pandemic!). So, to fulfill this in a micro-way, I decided instead to interview my husband’s exes.

When I committed to this project – like, officially – I couldn’t predict what might happen. I was pursuing information that most people would dread. If you’ve been with me for a while, however, you know that pushing the limits is something I do. Going in, I was certain that accessing this part of J’s life would conjure some feels. Truth is, when I interviewed my husband’s ex, Lucia, I couldn’t have gotten off to a better start.

I am grateful she let me into these memories and am excited to share them with you… 

Hello Lucia

Meeting strangers has its element of mystery and awkwardness. Being the first interaction, and considering the sexual history this individual had with my husband, I kept a “blind date” mindset. I knew her personality through the lens of J’s ten-year old memory, and approached with a smile and heightened sociability. I began, “Hello Lucia…”

From the moment Lucia switched on her video, she wore nothing but a smile. In an instant I understood why James had been drawn to her, and why they connected so easily. Her presence was warm, even through a lens. Her expressive personality and Latin charm immediately won me over. Her pink shirt brought out the bronze of her skin. Her voice was rhythmic and joyful. We giggled and got acquainted, sparing little time before diving in…

First Impressions

James spent many years of his life working for luxurious hotels and resorts. Lucia has a similar story. She crossed paths with him during one of her seasons in Greece. This was nearly ten years ago. Lucia recalled walking by the pool, and hearing James’ accent as he spoke with some guests. Her first impressions of J were something like this:

“He had an impressive personality.” Particularly his loud and energetic presence caught her attention. “He was tall and funny.”

It didn’t surprise me that she reflected on their common personalities, as it was something I recognized within seconds of greeting her. “We were more flexible and friendly than most,” Lucia admitted, comparing James to their colleagues. “We had a small group of mutual friends, all Latin. I loved the mix of Italian and French.

“James and I spent most of our evenings flirting behind curtains, hiding from friends and colleagues. You see,” she continued, “I didn’t want a relationship, and neither did James. He was so easy, and I was grateful because I never had to explain myself to him. I didn’t have to be attached, and he didn’t expect me to ask permission to live life as I wanted.”

In essence, their no-judgment and “here for the fun” attitude sparked and fortified their interest and compatibility.

Latin Lovers

After two months into their season, the heat was rising between them.

“I remember one night after a work meeting, James and I had a few drinks. We were looking at each other, and you know that feeling…? When a man’s eyes narrow. You must know that look that overtakes him– it speaks for James. It says, ‘you will be mine?’ I felt so desired!”

Hearing such an accurate description of the man I love was out-of-body. I was playing the scene in my head. The smoldering ambiance between two Latin lovers; the tension, palpable! I’ve heard him describe the events, but watching it fall from her lips felt intimate, as if she handed me an exclusive invitation into a reading of her personal diary. It felt naughty. I reverted back to my adolescent self, stealing glimpses of erotica. Only now, I’m an adult, and the protagonist is my husband… the heroine, this sun-kissed beauty.

Sexual Gateway

One evening, they could not resist any longer. James followed Lucia to her room, and they began to kiss. The combination of alcohol, the Mediterranean warmth, and their salacious appetite, ignited.

“We took off our clothes, and he flashed me that same look – something like a sexual predatore. I wanted him so bad. We went to the bed, and I was analyzing his body. He climbed on top of me.”

She described their encounters as “chemical” – the combination was volatile, dangerous, and exciting. “I remember orgasming twice.”

Lucia and James continued to see each other. The magnetism between them was difficult to deny. Keeping it hidden became a challenge, but it couldn’t keep them apart. Lucia felt free with James. She could give into her natural desires, while simultaneously discovering new ones.

“I like being on top because I can control my movement and see my partner’s face. With James though, doggy-style was exceptional. He could pull my hair from that angle.”

During this time, Lucia had other sexual encounters. During the interview, she recalled having slept with another colleague in between her moments with James. When they finished, she remembered lying there disappointed, admitting the experience was “boring;” not living up to the thrill she experienced with J, as he had become her gateway into another sexual realm – a place she preferred.

“I was aware that James was into rough sex, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but his energy and attention allowed me to let go. He became my first hardcore experience.”

Forever Hardcore

“James liked to pinch my nipples so hard! When I was on my knees, he would grab me, and I couldn’t help but ask for it ‘harder’ and ‘harder.’ He would spank me, too.”

As the wife of this man, I can relate to her lust profoundly. It’s such an interesting thing to have someone unleash that part of you. It can’t be undone. Once you’ve had it, your sexuality can’t move back down a level. And, regardless of the intensity of the sex, James always checked-in with Lucia afterwards. A behavior he carries on to this day…

“We would talk about how it went, how we felt. Some nights I wanted him to stay, but I was aware that falling in love at work wasn’t an option. It would hurt too much. I remember why I liked sleeping with James. I could ask him to do crazy things and he would without making me feel bad about it. It was so easy to just look at him and say, ‘I’m horny, let’s fuck.’”

This admission made me both proud and grateful. Whether you are in a long-term relationship, or have an intimate friendship like Lucia and James, there are two foundational elements. The first is having the liberty to be who you are sexually. The second is giving the space for open communication about yours and your partner’s needs.

Friends in the End

Overtime the heat cooled between Lucia and James, transitioning into a friendship without sex. They both knew that when the season was over, they would move to different parts of the world. Lucia went on to date someone new, and James returned to France to continue his work in luxurious hospitality. To this day, they still speak, and hold onto those moments with affection.

“She’s one of the fun ones,” James told me before I conducted the interview. He was right! Lucia’s relaxed attitude and affable personality made this such an enjoyable experience. It’s been a gift to see the other side of the story – to have another woman reiterate the wonderful and alluring qualities of the person I love most. Their story was one of extraordinary passion. It was stunning and I can’t wait to hear more…

Until next time,

Fuck well, friends!

Quean Mo xx

So, tell me, if given the chance, what would you like to know about your partner’s ex(es)? If you could ask them anything, what would it be? Comment below or contact me here!


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