When Call of the Quean was first published in March of 2018, it began with a rather coming-of-age tale entitled, A Stripper Saved My Life. That first article was written from a place of pure curiosity, which propelled me forward into the eye-opening adventures of the last few years.
For those who have recently discovered COTQ or have, with some luck, come across this article today, I am here to reintroduce myself.
I am Quean Mo, and this is a recap of all my ethical sluttiness and the “bad” behaviour my husband and I have been practicing since 2018.
Origin of the Quean
The title Call of the Quean was a tribute to, and demonstration of, my sexual self.
Quean is an archaic term, clearly defined as “an imprudent or badly behaved woman,” also a synonym for whore.
As someone who has been slut-shamed by strangers, friends and past partners, I felt quean accurately and proudly illuminated who I am as a sexual being, while simultaneously celebrating others on their path to sexual liberation.
Call of the Quean is both a community and a call-to-action — for myself and anyone else who feels empowered by pro-actively seeking pleasure. It is my stand against puritanical narratives, and the false concept that human beings are binary, heterotypical, monogamous creatures.
For example, I consider my sexuality fluid. What that means to me is who and what I like are more dependent on connection and life circumstances, not gender identity nor biological sex.
In the past, I’ve used words such as heteroflexible, bisexual, and even pansexual to describe myself, when really, I don’t accurately fit under any of those labels. What turns me on is dependent on my mood, my environment, and the vibes I’m receiving.
In short, I love sex and pleasure with the right people at the right time.
Call of the Quean was also born from my identity as a cuckquean. For those of you who don’t know, cuckquean is the term for a (traditionally a female-identifying) person who enjoys when their partner (traditionally a male-identifying person) has sexual relations with other womxn.
There are many versions of the cuckquean fantasy. I have been most fortunate to fulfill this fantasy with James multiple times.
Although quean also derives from the word cuckquean, I find that my sexuality is much greater than a single word and have since learned that cuckqueaning is a part of my sexual capacity, but not the whole story.
Sexual Orientation Complexities
As I mentioned, I no longer consider myself heteroflexible, bisexual, or pansexual. My sexual orientation is that of a Quean! I am ethically slutty, meaning I enjoy sex on my terms while being conscious of my partners’ rights, feelings and needs.
As I write this, I understand that I owe no one this explanation, especially because who I am today may not be who I am five years from now. Sexuality can ebb and flow, you see, but as I feel unabashed about the Quean I am, I wish to share.
What makes my sexuality both interesting and complex is that, in daily life, I tend to feel more attraction towards men or masculine individuals. In saying that, I tend to feel more comfortable and excited by women or feminine persons in a sexual context. I also have an easier time continuing friendships with women I’ve had sexual experiences with over men. I also acknowledge that my sexual experiences have been limited to cis people but know that my attraction is not limited to a person’s genitals nor gender identity.
Because my husband is fully heterosexual, our shared sexual experiences will be with cis women.
Additionally, because sex and adult spaces are a priority for James and me, we have what we call a x-list. Our x-list includes people in which we will never pursue any sexual relationships with, either alone or together, for various personal reasons (i.e., close friends).
Experiences and Growth
I had come out to James as a heteroflexible* cuckquean months before COTQ was published. Key motives for this blog were the events that followed that initial conversation. James is still, to this day, amazed at the universe’s response to my coming out. The moment I opened that door, you see, people noticed and responded.
*Because “heteroflex” is how I identified at the time
Our first experience included a couple who was visiting the ski station we had been working in at the time. After they blatantly showed interest in us, James and I took the leap. As the four of us made our way home together one evening, we discovered that, not only were they staying in the same building we were living in, but their apartment was directly across the hall from ours!
That night passed in a flash, but the fond, steamy memories are far from faded. Since then, we have kept in contact with the couple. In fact, we take annual summer trips with them to Cap d’Adge’s nudist village (pandemic-permitting).
Our second experience included an evening out in Rennes, France. I remember telling James that we would just go with the flow — see where the night takes us (always my famous last words).
As we walked down one of the liveliest streets in the city, we were invited to sit with a group of people around our age. As the hours ticked on, two women and one couple made it very clear that they enjoyed our company and competed to finish the evening with us in a more private setting. There was one woman whom James and I connected with most, leading to our first FFM experience.
Thirdly — but not lastly — we met a vivacious woman from Long Island who found James rather charming, and me, “cool and sexy.” After spending an evening together, she asked to kiss me, which I happily complied. She then asked to kiss James, and he followed suit.
Each experience felt like a step up the ladder — more intense with every rung. On this evening the three of us fulfilled my cuckquean fantasy. She complemented James’ preferences as a Dom, and mine as a curious voyeur.
The call of the quean was strong, and the world answered, you see. Since then, James and I have been following our compass and growing as a couple in love and pleasure.
Forward Movement and Sexy Travel
Since it’s debut in 2018, Call of the Quean has opened my world tremendously.
Seeing the world and building this sybaritic lifestyle has been a gift, but also a privilege. Prioritizing sex, travel, and the growth of a relationship takes deliberation, planning, dedication, and financial wellness.
With a pandemic sweeping the globe since 2020, James and I have spent the last year and a half taking extra care of our marriage.
James and I have seen the best and worst of each other but make the daily choice of facing it together. If you’ve been with me since the beginning, you know that jealousy and uncertainty are two recurring themes. You will also know then that James and I eradicate such things with consistent communication and love.
What does that look like, exactly?
In James’ words, “we don’t wait for the bush to burn.” We address our issues when they arise.
I admit that James, at times, must deconstruct walls that I defensively (and involuntarily) erect because of triggers from past trauma. What I find promising is, with each occurrence, those triggers lose strength. I gain clarity of what is harming me (or us) and make the choice to pro-actively dismantle anything that could chip away at our foundation. This takes time, but…
We are a team. We aren’t always moving at the same speed, but we are always moving in the same direction.
Since the pandemic has impacted accessibility to travel and henceforth our lifestyle, I have also spent the last year and a half soul-searching and mapping out what the next chapter will entail. This is precisely why I’ve taking this opportunity to reintroduce myself.
Becoming Quean Mo has been the most rewarding journey; her expansion bleeds into every facet of my life, beyond the sexual. James has seen a drastic change in my self-concept, my perception of sex and love, and the complexity of the wholistic human experience.
If Call of the Quean can fulfill one thing it’s to help others (you) feel less alone, less abnormal.
After we landed in Toronto last night, I noticed a poster ad — for what, I’m not sure — but it read:
“Our differences are our greatest similarity.”
That, my friends, is what this is all about — hear the unique call of your quean…
And don’t be afraid to answer.
Until next time,
Fuck well, friends!
Quean Mo xx
P.S. Are you and your partner in the beginning stages of opening your relationship, or exploring your sexuality with others? If you need some extra guidance, click here for a 15-minute consultation with Quean Mo.
P.S.S. Have a burning question about the Quean Life? Submit your anonymous Quean Life Query here, and have it answered by yours truly!