Content Note: This article contains discussions on BDSM practices, such as Domination and submission.
Navigating this new world, James and I ran into a few obstacles. The first of which was him receding from the conversation. He needed time to think about what I was asking of him – how he felt about it for himself, but also for our relationship. He began to conduct some research, hoping to come across similar stories of women requesting a faux affair from their husband. This is when he found that wonderful word, cuckquean!
Learning there was a word for my desire validated something for me. When James shared “cuckquean” with me, I resonated with it immediately. I had learned quite quickly that cuckqueans vary, and as James began to express himself, the following main concerns came up for him:
❤ Did he really want to sleep with someone other than me? Because our relationship began as monogamous, and he had been at the receiving end of my jealousy (numerous times), he’d never allowed himself to imagine anything beyond him and I.
❤ Would bringing another woman in hurt our relationship? Again, PTSD from vicious accusations did not make this easy to explore.
❤ How well could James perform with two women in one room? Because James’ arousal is directly related to the pleasure of his partner(s), he had anticipated performance anxiety.
❤ Was I testing him in some way?
My concerns were:
❤ If I don’t enjoy this as much as I think I will, can our relationship regress in a positive way?
❤ What if I’m acting like a complete fool, and should be guarding our monogamy?
James also needed to understand logistics of my fantasy. Specifically, what my ideal version of the cuckquean fantasy looked like, and how we would go about meeting our cuckcake?
The conversations became so frequent that I was having fantasy fatigue. One day, as James started initiating yet another interrogation, I turned to him and snapped:
“This is starting to feel less like my fantasy and more like yours. Enough!”
His response? “Good. I was wondering when it was going to be too much for you.”
I was shocked. What the heck was he speaking about?
Turns out part of his plan – a good tactic or not (that one’s up for debate) – was to give me fantasy fatigue because if I came out of it still wanting to pursue this, he would feel more confident in my decision (sigh).
Again, no spoiler, I came out of the fatigue gung-ho and ready to go!
So, James and I really started having conversations. The following was my initial criteria in moving forward with the fantasy.
❤ Need a physical and mental connection with our cuckcake, with a priority on mental.
❤ Ensure our third is enthusiastically consenting to the cuckquean scenario (and D/s play, should it be taken there).
❤ Communication before, during and after to ensure all parties are happy and comfortable.
James agreed with all of this, of course, but added the following:
❤ I absolutely had to be turned on by the person and the situation. His pleasure relied solely on mine.
❤ There needed to be an element of BDSM, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to perform. This could be as simple as giving orders.
The Intention of Desire
If I’ve learned anything since the beginning of this journey, it’s that no two experiences are the same, and the cuckquean fantasy does not require a third person.
What I mean by this is, sometimes just hearing James share past sexual experiences – ones that I was not a part of – is enough to fulfill that need. However, when we do have the honour of inviting someone into our bed, this is how it tends to go down:
We plan a night out just the two of us, with the mentality that anything could happen. We’ve noticed that when we leave the house with that intention, we attract all sorts of attention. Although James enjoys connecting with people online – I’m not much of an online person – we do have more successful encounters when we’re out and about. For example:
❤ One evening in Rennes, France, we were walking down the busiest street – terrace after terrace – when a group called us over to sit and have a drink with them. There was a woman who began speaking to James about me. I did not hear the conversation, as I was occupied by another Frenchwoman who was excited to speak English with someone. Time passed, however, and I noticed they were really starting to speak, and I found myself turned on by their intensity. Long story short, she was a bisexual woman seeking similar experiences. James hadn’t even shared our story, and yet she made it clear she was interested. I kissed her, and the rest is history…
❤ One evening in Tignes, France, James and I went to our favourite local bar. This was shortly after COTQ launched. James was getting freaked out because it was like the universe had opened its gates to us the second I hit “publish” on my first post – people were showing sexual interest in us everywhere we went! That night, one couple caught my interest, as the woman was unabashedly pursuing me! Her sexiness and brazen desire made me melt. The four of us went back to our apartment, which landed me my first girl-on-girl experience.
Which brings me to this: sometimes what can start out as a desire for one thing, actually opens you up to a range of opportunities!
Just Another Connection Point
Sexual fantasy can be another realm in which partners connect. If it scares you the way it had scared James and I, understand that there are steps that can be taken to gauge comfort levels, and have fun without jumping in the deep end.
If you’re thinking the cuck life could be something you’re interested in, the following articles may support you in your journey:
❤ What is a Cuckquean: Myth or Reality? – For more info about this fantasy, check out this article. Also a great intro for partners who are unfamiliar with this kink.
❤ How do I fulfill my cuckquean fantasy? – A guide to approaching your fantasy at a reasonable pace.
❤ Confessions of a Cuckquean: Not Just Rainbows and Unicorns – Find out what obstacles James and I faced, and how we got through them together!
❤ Finding and Caring for a Third in a Threesome – An ethical way to have threesomes to ensure everyone is happy and satisfied!
❤ How can I eliminate jealousy in my cuckquean relationship? – An article dedicated to jealousy because it’s inevitable, and that’s okay!
I believe that pleasure is a right, and the more we understand what ours looks like, the better our life experience will be, together and separately.
Cuck Life Queries
Thank you to my readers who requested this series – it is humbling to know you care about this content, and that you feel supported in your own journey. As a tribute to you, James and I are creating a series called Quean Life Queries (QLQ), whereby we answer your questions in short article format. Reach out to us here to have your question anonymously featured!
Until next time,
Fuck well, friends!
Quean Mo xx
P.S. So, tell me, have you ever had a life changing conversation? How did you feel before? After? Comment below or contact me here.