When I first discovered I was a cuckquean, I felt both overjoyed and overwhelmed. There was uncertainty about approaching it properly. Jumping in felt dangerous – a threat to my wellbeing, my husband’s, and the state of our relationship. I knew I was ready to explore but had no template for what that looked like.
One of the greatest things about our sex-positive journey is James and I get to share information for novice queans. We can now take what we’ve learned and make that available to people who are like us.
In other words: if you’re looking to put the cuck in your quean, we are here for you!
From mild to extreme, use this step-by-step guide to reach your cuckquean fantasy. These exercises come from our own experiences; born from mistakes made and the order we believe would have worked best for us.
Each quean is different , and this is not a guide on how to navigate the cuckquean conversation (you can find that here!). This is simply a to-do list to ease you into the cuckquean lifestyle, taking you and your hot hubby from novice to crowned.
But first, here are some quick, last-minute suggestions and reminders before you and your SO pursue this fantasy:
<3 Always go as slow as the slower partner. It takes time to work through emotional blocks like jealousy or guilt. We’ve each had a specific education on sex and relationships that could impede on the speed to which these steps can be taken. Always take the pace of the slower partner.
<3 You do not have to navigate this alone! Hiring a sex or relationship coach or counsellor can be hugely beneficial when changing the structure of your relationship. Whatever makes this process smoother and more joyful for you is the right way.
<3 There are different versions of the cuckquean fantasy. Having an idea of your ideal fantasy at this time, and communicating that with your partner, is important for the process. Communication is lubrication!
<3 Desire can change. What your fantasy looks like at the beginning of this process may expand or contract by the end of it. That’s okay, just honour your needs and remember point #1 (pace of the slower partner).
<3 Check-in at every stage. This is a process, so ensuring everyone is comfortable is critical. If something doesn’t feel right, speak about it, and make the proper adjustments so you can continue the path of pleasure.
<3 You can stop at any time. Sometimes fantasies are more exciting when left as just that, a fantasy. Do not be hard on yourself or your partner if this happens. Take the best from the experience and move on.
1. Go people watching
Go out to your favourite social spot with the intention of speaking about people you’re attracted to. If the cuckquean is heterosexual, let the hot hubby do the visual perusing. Both partners should ask questions that come to mind and be open about their feelings.
2. Share sexual stories in a non-sexual context (i.e., over a dinner date)
Plan a dinner date whereby you can speak about past sexual experiences of the hot hubby. You may discover there are specific actions or people that turn you on. At the same time, you may find you have sensitivities to certain memories, people or actions. Share those and note them for future engagements.
3. Ethical porn date (play together)
Plan a time where you can both watch porn together, with the intention of playing together. The point here is for the cuckquean to explore whether her hot hubby’s arousal towards another person is in fact a turn on.
4. Share stories in a sexual context
Plan an evening where your hot hubby can share past sexual experiences with you while you’re both sexually engaged with one another. Do the words increase your arousal? Pay attention and let your partner know when something sounds particularly exciting.
5. Porn by himself (either you watch him watch the porn, or he watches it alone and shares later)
Have your hot hubby plan a solo ethical porn date but have him share the exact day and time it will be happening. Then, when you know he’s taking care of himself, explore your own feelings. Does his arousal for something separate than you excite you? What images come to mind when you think about him getting turned on somewhere else and with someone else?
6. Pretend to be someone else during sex
Do you have an alter ego that your hot hubby would have fun with? Time to try her on! Put on a skimpy outfit and play the sex worker his wife hired. Or, change your accent and tell him you’re the cuckcake , and you want him to do naughty things to you. Whoever it may be, play someone other than yourself and have your hot hubby call you by her name – see how he acts with her, and how it makes you feel.
Hot Hot Hot
At this stage, the cuckquean needs to decide how involved she wants to be. Because all cuckqueans are different, it’s important to experiment with levels of participation to determine what turns you on most. Levels of participation may look like, but are not limited to:
<3 Full participation – in the process of finding the cuckcake and are voyeurs during the sexual engagement.
<3 Partial participation – may or may not be in the process of finding the cuckcake, but want to hear the details after the engagement.
<3 No participation – do not want to be in the process of finding the cuckcake, and have no interest in hearing about the engagement; derives pleasure from knowing it may/may not be happening.
Here are the hot exercises to try, once level of participation has been established…
7. Create an online profile and explore potential cuckcakes
8. Find someone to sext with online
When you’ve found that special someone, start a conversation with the intention of getting some naughty talk in.
9. He masturbates with someone online via live video
When a good connection has been built, and you and your cuckcake feel comfortable, turn on that camera and show each other what you’re missing. (Use discretion when sharing any images or videos of yourself online).
…and let him have non-penetrative engagements (i.e., flirting, touching, kissing, etc.) with another woman.
Self-Discovery is Freedom
As our tagline reads: self-discovery is freedom. Regardless of how far you travel into this fantasy, let it be a positive experience. Uphold the agreements made throughout the process and bask in the pleasures and lessons of each step.
Until next time,
Fuck well, friends – and get crowned!
Quean Mo xx
P.S. Share your cuckquean journey in the comments below or DM me here! I want to know!